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Home is hard for me

I've never had an actual like "home."

There were both of my grandmas' houses and then the trailer I lived in when I was little...twice. But one of those grandmas died and the other one has remodeled her house so much that it barely feels like the house I spent a lot of my childhood in.


I'm much more partial to any other place than home. Hotels. Hospitals. Airports. Even churches are fun. I like the big rooms, the random items in drawers, the people wandering around doing their jobs. It's really easy to sneak around places like this and find out information. Most of the time the information isn't that exciting, but in places like hospitals the amount of cool shit you can see is basically infinite.


I used to get all my flu shots at the Big Hospital that my mom was a paramedic for. We would get taken out of school for the day and we would go to the hospital and wait around for the nurses to have a free second to give us our shots. Meanwhile, my sister and I would get to hang out around the dispatch room. We got to hear all the 911 calls coming in and the dispatchers talking to patients and callers. It was like seeing into a magical, secret world that most people, let alone 12-year old girls got to see.


"Ma'am stay calm, the officers are on their way."

"Sir, please stop yelling. I understand the dog bit you, but you have to tell me where you're at."

"Ok, I know that you're angry but you can't hit people with cars just because they took your parking spot."


It was almost as if I was there, helping these people in their moment of extreme panic, fear, or pain. But I wasn't. I was 12. And I was just getting my flu shot. And then I had to go back to whatever home I was living in at the time.

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